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News 2018

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10 quotes from Boris to use if you want to seem smart

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10 citazioni di Boris da usare se vuoi sembrare intelligente

5 giorni fa



*Attenzione! Questo articolo su Boris non è di qualità, “perchè a noi la qualità c'ha rotto il c***o!”


Quella magistrale opera di satira politica e sociale che è Boris, come i fan più accaniti sanno, è una fonte inesauribile di citazioni da usare ad hoc nelle più svariate situazioni. D'altronde, la serie stessa è forte di un citazionismo strepitoso: dai riferimenti a Tarantino, all'omaggio “all'olandese”, a Lars Von Trier, fino ad arrivare alla puntata sulla possibile visita al set di Wim Wenders “Il cielo sopra Stanis”, riferimento a “Il cielo sopra Berlino”, capolavoro del regista tedesco. Noi series addicted abbiamo provato spesso i brividi per i sottili rimandi a Twin Peaks, cosa che non ci si aspetterebbe da una serie tv comica, per di più “così italiana”.



Uno dei punti di forza che rendono Boris tanto speciale è proprio questo: il contrasto tra la “m***a” messa in luce dagli eventi della serie, e la profondità dei concetti esposti.


Il fandom di Boris è così affezionato alla serie che prenderebbe per “genio” chiunque la citi, in qualunque modo. Ma citazioni tipicamente borisiane a parte, tipo dare della “cagna maledetta” all'amica che ha finto un raffreddore per non andare al lavoro, ce ne sono alcune che meritano una lista d'onore. Prendete una situazione/conversazione qualunque dai toni anche solo leggermente tragicomici. Aggiungeteci una citazione più ricercata di Boris (una sceneggiatura nata per essere parodia pura della realtà e del “sistema Italia”) et voilà! Eccovi pronti a fare un figurone. Specie se tra i presenti ci sono altri fan della serie.

Quindi ecco a voi: le 10 citazioni di Boris da usare se vuoi sembrare intelligente.



1) La tragedia dei raccomandati


Glauco Benetti è senza dubbio uno dei personaggi più amati di Boris. Determinato, schietto, deciso. Non le manda a dire a nessuno. Nemmeno alla “senatrice” Ada De Silvestri, attrice terribile raccomandata dal marito senatore della Repubblica. Eppure Glauco sa che le api si prendono col miele. Conquista Ada con la comprensione, dopo averle dato della cagna senza appello ovviamente.


«Nessuno capisce la tragedia dei
raccomandati. C'hai mai pensato?
Tutti ti guardano male, devi fare il
doppio del lavoro, e, anche in quel
caso, non sempre serve a conquistarti
la stima di quelli che lavorano con te»

Ovviamente la sua è (forse) una falsa empatia in questo caso, mirata solo a far recitare decentemente Ada. Ma riflettendoci, scevri da ogni pregiudizio, non troviamo un fondo di verità in questa teoria?



2) I Toscani


Per gli amanti degli stereotipi, delle generalizzazioni, dell'odio verso i politici del Valdarno e per chi ride di tutto ciò, è sempre il momento giusto per proporre la chicca di Stanis La Rochelle sui toscani.


«Il vero grande merito di questa
fiction è che non ci sono i toscani.
Nessuno che dice la mi' mamma, il mi'
babbo, passami la harne, la harta.
Perché con quella C aspirata e quel
senso dell'umorismo da quattro soldi i
toscani hanno devastato questo
paese!»



3) I sogni


La vita è una brutta storia ragazzi. Da giovani si è sempre pieni di sogni e speranze che spesso, una volta cresciuti, restano solo velleità. Quelle cose che - come cantava qualcuno anni fa - ti “aiutano a dormire quando mancano sei giorni all'analista”. Ne sa qualcosa René Ferretti, un uomo che ci ha creduto fino a cinquant'anni in quello che faceva, anche nella m***a. Per questo, quando gli dicono di girare la scena finale di Occhi del Cuore a c***o di cane perchè tanto il format è stato venduto ai greci, René non riesce a nascondere la propria delusione.


“Non era quello che sognavo da
piccolo.”

Dice il regista a Lopez con un tono tra l'ironico e il drammatico. Non so voi, ma io me la rivendo ogni volta che il mio capo mi chiede di fare degli straordinari.



4) Il Potassio


C'è chi quando è nervoso parla di bassa concentrazione di nicotina. Stanis no. Allo Stanis nervoso quello che si abbassa nel sangue è il potassio. Certo, fa ridere in quanto solito non-sense alla Stanis... ma gli sceneggiatori (veri) di Boris sembrano non lasciare davvero nulla al caso. In questa scena, Stanis attende sul set l'inizio delle riprese già da un po', e sotto le luci dei proiettori di scena gronda sudore. Beh signori, pare che il sudore sia uno dei liquidi corporei attraverso cui “si perde” potassio. O meglio, che ne fa scendere il valore nel sangue. Quindi, da oggi in poi, sentitevi liberi di urlare a chiunque vi stia facendo sudare per l'attesa.


“Oddio il potassio! Sta scendendo il
potassio!”



5) Do Tu Des


Siete nel bel mezzo di una relazione umana unidirezionale? Sentite di dare troppo senza avere nulla in cambio? Beh, è il caso allora di far presente alla controparte la versione aggiornata in chiave Biascica della formula giuridica latina “Do ut des” (io dò affinchè tu dia).


“Tra noi dev'esserci un rapporto equo,
do tu des, cioè io dò tu des. Un
rapporto equo e solitario

È ciò che il capo elettricista dice a Sergio quando gli viene negato di bestemmiare sul set. Più chiaro di così...



6) Chiuditi a riccio


Nella vita spesso si attraversano momenti difficili. Straordinari non pagati, lotte con la Cgil, problemi con il padre, problemi con la madre, rabbia repressa. Nel mondo di oggi la prima cosa che verrebbe consigliata a qualcuno che soffre di fobie sociali e attacchi di panico sarebbe un percorso di psicoterapia. Ma Duccio, uomo di grande saggezza, sa bene da dove nascono tutte le turbe mentali della gente, e ha imparato “a difendersi”. Perciò, al prossimo amico che vi pianta il pistolotto esistenziale sulla propria depressione cronica, consigliate il metodo “tabula rasa” di Duccio.


“Ho smesso di leggere. Non leggo più
niente. Ma niente eh! Libri, giornali,
riviste, un cartello pubblicitario per la
strada. Non leggo più una mazza e sto
benissimo! Dice 'fatti vedere, parla
con qualcuno...', io non parlo proprio
con nessuno, io mi faccio i ca**i miei.
Dai retta a me, chiuditi a riccio! Non
leggere più niente e ti passa tutto.”

Avete presente quando si dice di qualcuno “beato lui/lei che non capisce nulla?” Ecco, questa è la versione made in Boris.



7) Le sostituzioni giuste


Doppia valenza per una delle chicche dello squalo della Magnesia. Qualora doveste convincere qualcuno a sostituirvi al lavoro o doveste essere voi a sostituire qualcuno puntando al risparmio, potete sempre buttare fumo negli occhi come sa fare Sergio.


“Ricorda che è con le sostituzioni
gratuite al momento giusto che l'Italia
è diventata un grande paese.”

Sospiriamo tutti.



8) I muri sono caduti


Ancora una volta Duccio ci offre un assaggio della sua sconfinata saggezza “un tanto ar kilo”.


“Io ti volevo dare una possibilità ma tu
non l'hai saputa cogliere perché hai
voluto fare una fotografia politica,
ignaro del fatto che i muri sono
caduti. Adesso è tornato il tempo
di aprire tutto.”

Inutile sottolineare quanto questa frase si possa applicare alle più disparate situazioni che vedono un lavoro di qualità confrontarsi con una performance scadente. Cambiate un paio di parole all'occorrenza e il gioco è fatto. Pronta per voi un'oratoria “politica”.



9) 'E sarcicce


Karin “le cosce” di Occhi del Cuore è rinomata per avere un solo desiderio: “far sognare gli italiani”. Eppure nella sua provincialità il personaggio di Karin mette in luce quanto spesso gli pseudo-intellettuali amanti dell'azione ragionata manchino di quell'incoscienza a volte necessaria a ottenere ciò che si desidera. Lo vediamo nel discorso fatto ad Alessandro in cui lo esorta ad “andà pe' fratte a girare quelle piccole cose che piacciono ai comunisti come lui” per fare esperienza e farsi conoscere. Tuttavia, Karin resta prima di tutto una zoticona, per dirla alla Ferretti. E quindi ritroviamo nelle sue esplosioni concetti interessanti, ma espressi in modo molto... diretto. Quindi, quando vi capiterà di spiegare le vostre emozioni a un ascoltatore distratto ditegli candidamente


“Oh, io te sto a parlà de sentimenti, no
de' sarcicce!”

E quando l'argomento è “il dubbio, la paura del domani”, potete rilanciare con un “Oh, io te sto a parlà de futuro, no de' sarcicce!



10) Un paese di musichette


In una lista di citazioni colte di Boris, un riferimento al geniale monologo sulla “locura” dello sceneggiatore cialtrone, non può proprio mancare.


“Il peggior conservatorismo che però
si tinge di simpatia, di colore, di
paillettes. In una parola: Platinette.
Perché Platinette ci assolve da tutti i
nostri mali, dalle nostre malefatte.
Sono cattolico, ma sono giovane e
vitale perché mi divertono le
minchiate il sabato sera. È vero o no?
Ci fa sentire la coscienza a posto
Platinette. Questa è l'Italia del futuro:
un paese di musichette mentre fuori
c'è la morte.”

Una fotografia purtroppo molto reale dell'Italia di oggi, dell'italiano medio che la popola e della “tradizione” tanto difesa. Una citazione da sfoggiare assolutamente in una qualunque conversazione dai toni polemici che veda il nostro paese al centro della discussione.


Certamente una lista del genere meriterebbe di essere lunga tre volte tanto. Boris offre un'immensa vastità di spunti di riflessione e “sbrocchi” che in un'altra serie tv risulterebbero spesso fuori luogo.


Ma noi abbiamo preferito fermarci a dieci, perché crediamo in una “sceneggiatura democratica”.

10 quotes from Boris to use if you want to seem smart

5 days ago



*Warning! This article about Boris is not of quality, “because the quality has f****d with us!”


That masterful work of political and social satire that is Boris, as the most stubborn fans know, is an inexhaustible source of quotes to use ad hoc in the most varied situations. On the other hand, the series itself is strong of an amazing quotationism: from the references to Tarantino, to the tribute “Dutch-style”, to Lars Von Trier, until to the episode about the possible visit on the set of Wim Wenders “Il cielo sopra Stanis (The sky above Stanis)”, reference to “Il cielo sopra Berlino” (Der Himmel über Berlin), masterpiece of the German director. We series addicted have often felt the creeps for the subtle references to Twin Peaks, something you would not expect from a comic tv series, for more “so Italian”.



One of the strong points that make Boris so special is just this: the contrast between the “s**t” highlighted by the events of the series, and the depth of the exposed concepts.


The fandom of Boris is so fond of the series that would call “genius” whoever quotes it, in any way. But quotations typically Boris-style apart, for example call “damned bitch” the friend who pretended a cold so as not to go to work, there are some that deserve a list of honor. Imagine any situation/conversation with tones even slightly tragicomic. Add a more refined quote from Boris (a script born to be a pure parody of the reality and of the “system Italy”) et voilà (and that's all)! Here you are ready to make a great impression. Especially if among those present there are other fans of the series.

So here's to you: the 10 quotes from Boris to use if you want to seem smart.



1) The tragedy of the recommended ones


Glauco Benetti is undoubtedly one of the most beloved characters of Boris. Determined, sincere, resolved. He's very direct. Even with the “senator” Ada De Silvestri, terrible actress recommended by her husband senator of the Italian Republic. Yet Glauco knows that bees are taken with honey. He conquers Ada with the comprehension, after having offended her defining her bitch without appeal of course.


«Nobody understands the tragedy of the
recommended ones. Have you ever thought about it?
Everyone looks at you badly, you have to do the
double of the work, and, even in that
case, not always helps to conquer
the esteem of those who work with you»

Obviously his one is (perhaps) a false empathy in this case, aimed only to make decently acting Ada. But reflecting about it, free from any prejudice, don't we find a bottom of truth in this theory?



2) The Tuscans


For the lovers of the stereotypes, the generalizations, the hatred towards the politicians from Valdarno and for those who laugh at all of this, it's always the right time to propose the gem of Stanis La Rochelle about the Tuscans.


«The real great merit of this
drama is that there are no Tuscans.
Nobody who says my mom, my
dad, pass me the meat, the paper.
Because with that C aspirated and that
poor sense of humor the
Tuscans have devastated this
country!»



3) The dreams


Life is a bad story guys. When we are young we are always full of dreams and hopes that often, once we grow up, they remain only velleities. Those things that - as someone was singing years ago - “help you to sleep when six days are left for the analyst”. René Ferretti knows something about it, a man who has believed in it for up to fifty years in what he did, even in the s**t. For this reason, when he's asked to shoot the final scene of Occhi del Cuore (The eyes of the heart) to f*****g dog because anyway the format was sold to the Greeks, René can not hide his disappointment.


“It was not what I dreamed of
as a child.”

The director says to Lopez with a tone between the ironic and the dramatic. I don't know about you, but I reuse it every time my boss asks me to work overtime.



4) The Potassium


There are those who when are nervous talk about low concentration of nicotine. Stanis no. At the nervous Stanis what goes down in the blood is the potassium. Of course, it makes you laugh as usual non-sense Stanis-style... but the screenwriters (real) of Boris don't seem to really leave anything to chance. In this scene, Stanis waits on the set for the beginning of the shootings already for a while, and under the lights of the spotlights he drips sweat. Well gentlemen, it seems that the sweat is one of the body fluids through which “you loss” potassium. Or rather, that makes the value go down in the blood. So, from today on, feel free to scream at anyone who is making you sweat for the wait.


“Oh my god the potassium! It's going down
the potassium!”



5) Do Tu Des (I give you give)


Are you in the middle of a one-way human relationship? Do you feel you are giving too much without having anything in return? Well, then it's the case to point out to the counterpart the updated version according to Biascica's key of the Latin legal formula “Do ut des” (I give so that you give).


“There must be a fair relationship between us,
do tu des (I give you give), that is I give you give. A
fair relationship and lonely

It's what the chief electrician tells Sergio when he is denied to curse on the set. Clearer than that...



6) Close as a hedgehog


In life we often go through difficult times. Overtimes unpaid, struggles with the Cgil, problems with the father, problems with the mother, repressed anger. In today's world the first thing that would be recommended to someone suffering from social phobias and panic attacks would be a path of psychotherapy. But Duccio, man of great wisdom, knows well where all the mental disorders of the people are born, and he has learned “to defend himself”. Therefore, to the next friend who tells you the existential rigmarole about his chronic depression, recommend the method “tabula rasa” by Duccio.


“I have stopped reading. I don't read anything
anymore. But nothing eh! Books, newspapers,
magazines, a billboard on the
street. I don't read anything anymore and I am
very well! Someone says let you visit, speak
with someone...', I just don't speak
with anyone, I mind my own fu****g business.
Listen to me, close as a hedgehog! Don't
read anything anymore and you're fine.”

Do you know when you say about someone “lucky he/she who doesn't understand anything?” Here, this is the version made in Boris.



7) The free replacements


Double value for one of the goodies of the shark of the Magnesia. If you were to convince someone to replace you at work or you were to replace someone by pointing to econmy, you can always throw smoke in the eyes as Sergio manages to do.


“Remember that it's with free
replacements at the right time that Italy
has become a great country.”

We all sigh.



8) The walls are fallen


Once again Duccio offers us a preview of his boundless wisdom “approximate”.


“I wanted to give you a chance but you
you have not been able to grab it because you have
wanted to make a political photography,
unaware of the fact that the walls have
fallen. Now its' time
to open all.”

It's useless to underline how this phrase can be applied to the most disparate situations that see a quality job comparing with a poor performance. Change a few words if necessary and problem solved. Ready for you a “political” oratory.



9) The sausages


Karin “the thighs” of Occhi del Cuore (The eyes of the heart) is famous for having only one desire: “to make Italians dream”. Yet in hers provincialism the character of Karin highlights how often the pseudo-intellectual lovers of reasoned action lack that unconsciousness sometimes necessary to get what you want. We see it in the speech made to Alessandro in which she exhorts him to “go in the middle of nature to shot those little things that the communists as him like” to get experience and make himself known. However, Karin is first of all a rough person, to say it as Ferretti would say. And so we find interesting concepts in hers explosions, but expressed in a way much... direct. So, when it will happen to you to explain your emotions to an absent-minded listener you candidly say to him


“Oh, I'm talking to you about emotions, no
about sausages!”

And when the topic is “the doubt, the fear of the tomorrow”, you can reply with a “Oh, I'm talking to you about the future, not about sausages!



10) A country of jingles


In a list of cultured quotes from Boris, a reference to the brilliant monologue about the “locura” of the scoundrel screenwriter, can not be missing.


“The worst conservatism that however
is tinged with sympathy, with color, with
sequins. In a word: Platinette.
Because Platinette absolves us from all
our evils, from all our misdeeds.
I am Catholic, but I am young and
alive because I enjoy the
bullshits of Saturday night. Is it true or not?
Makes us feel a clear conscience
Platinette. This is Italy of the future:
a country of jingles while outside
there's the death.”

An unfortunately very real photograph of today's Italy, of the average Italian that populates it and of the “tradition” so defended. A quote to show off absolutely in any conversation with polemical tones that has Italy at the center of the discussion.


Certainly such a list deserves to be three times as long. Boris offers an immense vastness of foods for thought and “freakouts” that in another TV series would often be out of place.


But we have preferred to stop at ten, because we believe in a “democratic script”.

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News 2018 - Boris - The television made in Italy

February 02, 2018 | Diario di Rorschach

Boris - The television made in Italy
News 2018 - La linea verticale (The vertical line) is the realization of the dream of Boris

January 24, 2018 | Hall of Series

La linea verticale (The vertical line) is the realization of the dream of Boris
News 2018 - Boris - Tomato with Pachino or San Marzano?

January 23, 2018 | La settima arte

Boris - Tomato with Pachino or San Marzano?
News 2018 - Boris and the Italian Tv of quality

January 23, 2018 | Mangiatori di Cervello

Boris and the Italian Tv of quality
News 2018 - Now, More than Ever, we need "Boris"!

January 15, 2018 | GiocoMagazzino! La Lega del Ludo

Now, More than Ever, we need "Boris"!

Contacts

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Social

Random meme

Boris The movie

- What are you laughing at? | - Come on nothing, it's a bullshit, come on. | - Come on say it to me. | - It's inappropriate. | - Ok whatever, at this point say it to me, no. | - There is no more signal.
S01E05

Sometimes, people, want to laugh too.

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