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News 2016

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Boris returns on Netflix, 10 reasons to rewatch the funniest Italian TV series

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Boris torna su Netflix, 10 motivi per rivedere la più divertente serie tv italiana

Vi ricordate della serie tv sulle fiction fatte un po' "a cazzo di cane"?



L'ufficio stampa di Netflix ha confermato una notizia che in molti aspettavamo con una certa attesa: le tre stagioni di Boris si potranno vedere in streaming da domani! Potremmo dunque fare una maratona della fuori serie italiana, quella firmata da Ciarrapico, Torre e Vendruscolo che analizzava causticamente il mondo delle fiction su Rai e Mediaset. Che ci ha fatto conoscere figure professionali come la segretaria di produzione o lo stagista schiavo, che ha sdoganato il termine cagna come aggettivo qualificativo di un'attrice non proprio dotata, che ci ha fatto ridere amaramente del malcostume di certe produzioni fatte un po' a cazzo di cane.


È andata in onda su Fox prima e su Cielo poi, dal al e poi è stata seguita da un film per il cinema.


Se non ricordate i motivi per i quali l'avete amata così tanto, ve ne diamo 10 a cui non potete dire di no.



1) La sigla di Elio e le Storie Tese


Una canzone imparata a memoria, in cui vengono presentati tutti i personaggi della serie e pure Boris, il pesce rosso che René Ferretti si porta sempre dietro come portafortuna per girare l'orribile fiction Gli occhi del cuore. È subito nostalgia.



2) Il regista esaurito René Ferretti


Francesco Pannofino è perfetto nel dar vita al regista esaurito de Gli occhi del cuore. Le sue facce da pazzo, i suoi Dai Dai Dai! e le sue esortazioni a lanciare le battute a cazzo di cane sono entrate nel lessico comune. L'importante per lui è arrivare a fine giornata e fare tutto quello che c'è sul tabellino di marcia, esortato dalla segretaria Itala e dall'assistente Arianna. Durante la serie ci prova pure a mettere un po' di qualità nel suo lavoro, ma poi la risposta è sempre una e la trovate qui sopra.



3) Corinna, la cagna maledetta e Stanis La Rochelle, l'attore molto poco italiano


Ogni volta che Stanis dice qualcosa, diventa epico, perché lui è l'attore borioso e tronfio, bambinone, che non si accorge di stare lavorando in una fiction di merda e che crede davvero di valere qualcosa. La sua controparte, Corinna è una raccomandata di ferro messa lì solo perché si è lavorata bene le alte sfere. Non sa recitare, è antipatica e non ha neppure una grande stima di sé stessa. Sono le star di Gli occhi del cuore, la fiction che non esiste, ispirata a anni e anni di fiction orribili. (Gabriel Garko e Manuela Arcuri, anyone?)



4) Arianna e Alessandro


Lei è l'aiuto regista, tutta di un pezzo, dedita solo al lavoro. Una su cui si può contare quando le cose sul set vanno male. Lui è il nuovo stagista e spesso la voce narrante della serie. Mal pagato, sottoposto a turni estenuanti e mai una soddisfazione. Hanno anche una storia d'amore, che sembra perfetta finché non arriva l'insanabile rottura perché lei vota Berlusconi.



5) I personaggi loschi: Sergio e Duccio


Quante volte avete lavorato con questi termini contrattuali, senza che fossero così palesi? Per Sergio, il direttore di produzione dalle mille risorse truffaldine e dal passato losco, sono la routine. In una puntata dice chiaramente che al gabbio, lui non ci vuole più tornare. Duccio invece è il direttore della fotografia, totalmente pieno di cocaina al punto da non poter più lavorare. L'unica sua mansione è quella di smarmellare le luci, di aprire tutto. Si troverà benissimo quando passerà a Mediaset, luogo in cui la cocaina viene servita dalle vallette.



6) Corrado Guzzanti, basta la parola


Interpreta due personaggi che fanno venire gli addominali dalle risate. Il primo è Mariano Giusti, un attore psicologicamente instabile, che spaventa tutti con i suoi attacchi d'ira e che dice di aver visto Gesù sulla Roma-L'Aquila. Il secondo è l'agente del primo, Padre Gabrielli, un prete con un figlio segreto, collusissimo con la camorra. Una meraviglia.



7) Biascica, Merda e gli straordinari di Libeccio


Biascica è il capo elettricista. Un omaccione che parla solo in romanesco, che adora Totti e che reclama il diritto alla bestemmia sul set. Il suo stagista è Lorenzo, ma lui lo ribattezza subito con un colorito soprannome: Merda. Lo sevizia in ogni modo possibile e quando Lorenzo passa di grado e diventa operatore, Biascica ha una crisi d'identità. Tenta sempre di farsi pagare gli straordinari di un'altra fiction, Libeccio, senza alcun esito.



8) I tre sceneggiatori e la locura


Quello della locura è un monologo geniale in cui uno dei tre sceneggiatori fannulloni dice tutto quello che c'è da dire sullo spettacolo e sulla società in Italia. Cito: "Io parlo della locura, René, la locura. La pazzia, che cazzo René, la cerveza, la tradizione o merda, come la chiami tu, ma con una bella spruzzata di pazzia, il peggior conservatorismo che però si tinge di simpatia, di colore, di paillettes. In una parola, Platinette. Perché Platinette, hai capito, ci assolve da tutti i nostri mali, da tutte le nostre malefatte... Sono cattolico, ma sono giovane e vitale perché mi divertono le minchiate del sabato sera. Vero o no? Ci fa sentire la coscienza a posto Platinette, questa è l'Italia del futuro: un paese di musichette, mentre fuori c'è la morte. Questo che devi fare tu: "Occhi del cuore" sì, ma con le sue pappardelle, con le sue tirate contro la droga, contro l'aborto ma con una strana, colorata, luccicante frociaggine. Smaliziata e allegra come una cazzo di lambada. La locura René, è la cazzo di locura. Se l'acchiappi hai vinto."



9) Martellone e il suo tormentone


Poteva non esserci una satira contro i comici in stile Colorado, quelli che vanno avanti una vita con un unico tormentone volgare da ripetere in ogni situazione, anche quando non è il caso, e giù risate. In Boris c'è Martellone, con la sua frase iconica Bucio de culo, che viene chiamato nella fiction per provare la linea comica. Un disastro.



10) Le fantastiche guest star


Paolo Sorrentino, Roberto Herlitzka, Marco Giallini, Giorgio Tirabassi e pure un cameo di Laura Morante, per non farsi mancare nulla. Tutti personaggi fantastici, a parte Sorrentino che interpreta se stesso, nel tentativo di salvare un'attrice dal set infame di Medical Dimension, la fiction che dovrebbe portare qualità alla televisione. Ma come dice René Ferretti: La qualità c'ha rotto er cazzo, un'altra televisione non è possibile. Viva la merda!

Boris returns on Netflix, 10 reasons to rewatch the funniest Italian TV series

Do you remember the TV series about dramas made a little "messily"?



The press office of Netflix has confirmed a news that many expected with a certain expectation: the three seasons of Boris can be watched in streaming from tomorrow! We can therefore do a marathon of the Italian off series, the one written by Ciarrapico, Torre and Vendruscolo that caustically analyzed the world of the dramas on Rai and Mediaset. That has made us know professionals figures like the production secretary or the slave intern, that has cleared through customs the term bitch as qualificative adjective of an actress not really talented, that has made us laugh bitterly about the malpractice of certain productions made a little messily.


It aired on Fox first and on Cielo then, from to and then it has been followed by a movie for the cinema.


If you don't remember the reasons for which you had loved it so much, we give you 10 ones to which you can not say no.



1) The opening theme by Elio e le Storie Tese


A song learned by heart, in which are presented all the characters of the series and even Boris, the goldfish that René Ferretti always brings back with him as a lucky charm to shoot the horrible drama Gli occhi del cuore (The eyes of the heart). It's immediately nostalgia.



2) The stressed director René Ferretti


Francesco Pannofino is perfect in giving life to the exhausted director of Gli occhi del cuore (The eyes of the heart). His crazy faces, his Dai Dai Dai! (Come on come on come on!) and his exhortations to play the lines messily are entered in the common lexicon. The important thing for him is to reach the end of the day and make everything that it's written in the work schedule, encouraged by the secretary Itala and by the assistant Arianna. During the series he tries even to put a little of quality in his work, but then the answer is always one and you find it above.



3) Corinna, the damned bitch and Stanis La Rochelle, the very little Italian actor


Whenever Stanis says something, it becomes epic, because he is the arrogant and conceited actor, who doesn't notice that he's working in a shitty drama and he really believes to be worth something. His counterpart, Corinna is an iron recommended one that is working there only because she has been able to convince well the higher powers. She can not act, she's unpleasant and she doesn't even have a great esteem of herself. They are the stars of Gli occhi del cuore (The eyes of the heart), the drama that doesn't exist, inspired by years and years of horrible drama. (Gabriel Garko and Manuela Arcuri, anyone?)



4) Arianna and Alessandro


She's the first assistant director, all of a piece, devoted only to the work. One on which you can rely on when the things go bad on the set. He's the new intern and often the narrating voice of the series. Underpaid, exposed to exhausting shifts and never a satisfaction. They also have a love story, which seems perfect until it arrives the incurable break because she votes for Berlusconi.



5) The shady characters: Sergio and Duccio


How many times have you worked with these contractual terms, without that they were so obvious? For Sergio, the director of production from the thousand fraudulent resources and from the shady past, these are the routine. In an episode he clearly says that in prison, he doesn't want to come back no more. Duccio instead is the director of the photography, totally full of cocaine to the point that he can no longer work. His only job is to open the lights, to open all. He will feel very well when he will go to Mediaset, a place where the cocaine is served from the TV assistants.



6) Corrado Guzzanti, simply the word


He plays two characters that make you the abdominals by the laughts. The first is Mariano Giusti, a psychologically unstable actor, who scares everyone with his attacks of rage and who says to have seen Jesus in the highway Roma-L'Aquila. The second is the agent of the first, Padre Gabrielli (Father Gabrielli), a priest with a secret son, very colluded with the Camorra. A wonderful.



7) Biascica, Merda (Shit) and the overtimes of Libeccio


Biascica is the chief electrician.. A big man who speaks only in Roman dialect, who loves Totti and who claims the right to the blasphemy in the set. His intern is Lorenzo, but he renames him immediately with a colorful nickname: Merda (Shit). He torments him in any way possibile and when Lorenzo raises the rank and becomes operator, Biascica has an identity crisis. He always tries to get paid the overtimes of another drama, Libeccio, without success.



8) The three screenwriters and the locura (madness)


The one of the locura (madness) is a brilliant monologue in which one of the three slackers screenwriters says everything that there's to say about the show and the society in Italy. I quote: "I speak about the locura (madness), René, the locura (madness). The folly, what the fuck René, the cerveza (madness), the tradition or shit, as you call it, but with a nice splash of insanity, the worst conservatism that however is tinged with sympathy, color, sequins. In a word, Platinette. Because Platinette, you have understood, absolves us from all our evils, from all our misdeeds... I am Catholic, but I'm young and vital because the bullshits of Saturday night amuse me. True or not? Platinette makes us feel the conscience clear , this is the Italy of the future: a country of poor songs, while outside there is the death. That's what you have to do: "Occhi del cuore" (Eyes of the heart) yes, but with its rigmaroles, with its tirades against the drug, against the abortion but with a strange, colorful, sparkling faggyness. Cunning and cheerful as a fucking lambada. The locura (madness) René, is the fucking of locura (madness). If you catch it you have won."



9) Martellone and his catchphrase


Could not be in Boris a satire against the comedians in Colorado style, the ones that go on a life with an unique vulgar catchphrase to be repeated in every situation, even when it's not the case, and down laughs. In Boris there is Martellone, with his iconic phrase Bucio de culo (Asshole), which is called in to the drama to try the comic line. A disaster.



10) The amazing guest stars


Paolo Sorrentino, Roberto Herlitzka, Marco Giallini, Giorgio Tirabassi and even a cameo of Laura Morante, so as not to miss anything. All extraordinary characters, apart Sorrentino who plays himself, in the attempt to save an actress from the infamous set of Medical Dimension, the drama that should lead quality to the television. But as René Ferretti says: The quality fucked with us, another television is not possible. Hurrah for the shit!

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Random meme

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Also during the press conference, a journalist of the newspaper Repubblica, asks to me: "Listen Martellone... but don't you think that your success is a bit the sign of the times?" I looked at him and I answered him: "Who gives a shit!" Ehehehh! Also for, no? Nothing, I think that he has felt regret and then has torn me to shreds.
Boris The movie

But the shame is a luxury that you can not afford, Giuseppe. Your voters a fuck!

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