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Boris - Season 1: Meme

S01E01 - My first day

Does everyone think I am 24 years old? So I'm 24 years old. And then everyone goes home, to update the curriculum. No, from now on you will be called... cuttlefish! Go fuck yourself, all.
And I remind you that the day you and I will make love you will cry for 3 consecutive days, baby. You stay here in silence and wait for orders. Damned bitch! Come on, come on, come on, that we put everything at stake with this scene.
It has not gone wrong. It has been placed badly in the schedule. Okay, okay, however Corinna is a bitch. Huh. She's too Italian. What football team do you support. SHUT UP! YOU HAVE TO SHUT UP!
They told me that I must keep quiet. What the fuck! They make things to fucking dog and then they take it with us, have you understood? I have... the years that I have, and I feel them all, I feel them all.
Here are very puntual the wishes of President Cane. But what timing! Then the Greeks are idiots, who meanwhile are buying the format. It will be a provocation, but I love the drama! In drama, the photography must not be more beatiful than the one of the advertising, otherwise people change channel.
Send Arianna to fuck off. To fuck off. You don't understand a shit. Come on, you've half an hour, eh, we're not making a Kubrick's movie. Biascica! That money, you'll never see it!
René, is not a director. René, is the direction! Oh my God sorry, are you already in the character, eh? You're not the intern of direction. You're a machine, you're a splinter, you're a ferret. But there's still that question of the April's overtimes
But go fuck yourself, go.

S01E02 - The ring of the count

Make it, if you will allow me, to fucking dog! So, would you discover for me, what... what the fuck is about this, this drama? - And where is the theater? | - There is one in Epidaurus. - Do you want a coffee? | - Lightly long.
- And what does the ring represent? Whose is it? | - God knows, whose ring is this! Don't talk me about it, master. I'am destroyed. But a little help? SNIFFFF! Nemo? Nemo is a piece of shit, like not. No no, that is, it's not really a contract. It's a kind of insurance, understood?
Today you have to stay with the actors. You have to bring them coffee, pizza, water, everything they need. But what contracts? It takes passion, passion. And finally, the most important thing. This is the letter of your resignation. - But how do you go from Macbeth to Grandfather Alberto of The eyes of the heart 2? | - Among the 2 there is one thing, called mortgage.
You're not a fish, Boris. You're a genius! I have the feeling that lately, um, Shakespeare, is a bit too much, how to say, a little too Italian.

S01E03 - The climber of the Andes

Still the Peruvian! But they always give him to us! I don't know why, but I would kick Furio out! - Huh, beautiful or hot? | - Cunts! It was a drama. We were in Sardinia, do you remember? Caprera.
So don't worry, the world is small. We meet again, be sure. I know it's not your forte, but, you must learn to make yourself respected. But when ever one in life uses the word drug, excuse me? He's Pedro Benitez! The climber of the Andes.
It's worse than military service. I have done it. First of all it's less senseless. Then there at the limit, you make the war. Here you make The eyes of the heart. I'll go to hell, do you know it? And you will be by my side. I am heterosexual, but the day I had to give it a little thought, it's up to you that I would address. But what thanks, that we are in the shit!
Mamma mia the rubbish that I have done! Wait up! Is not that Arianna gets angry? Guys, don't take drugs. I have lost the race of life, because of that junk. I imagined this set completely different. Here it seems to be in military service.
There's one thing that you don't know, Guglielmo. We are brothers. I have realized that a cyclist can be gay but here we are on The eyes of the heart, Flora, eh, if you want to understand, you understand, come on! I have passed betrayals, fires, pirates, stormy seas. And only, and only to tell you that I love you, Eleonora.

S01E04 - Quality or death

We restart to make things to fucking dog if necessary. Do you, in the warm sea bream, put Pachino tomatoes? I am absolutely opposite to the joints. Do you like the nickname that I have found for him? Shit. They were months that I was looking for it, it was easy.
He's a genius. That one has worked with Kubrick, Lynch. I consider Kubrick an incapable. From today the watchword is, quality! I just feel the smell of the Italian set. The machinists, the electricians. Everything smells like cinema, the good one!
Working for free, the intern, I can not do it anymore. - But do you really like her? | - Yes! | - Let her go. I'll explain a recipe. Dunno. It works. To break the ice, it works. - If you see me distracted today, no ... | - Hum. | - Do not pay any attention because ... how it says no ... I'm not going to do shit!
Let her go. Aim for one that you like less. - Do you know what my motto is? | - No. | - Quality or death. You preach to the converted, Biascica. Neither I tell you, we are in a monstrous delay.
Well! This fucking snake! Look, I give you the steady too, but you give up the tractor. But where do you go? I give you 150 euros a week. Well, I propose you, to stay here, as a volunteer, or... or go to fuck yourself!
All men are great actors. Except for some actors. Survey is: if you like one, how do you move?

S01E05 - A + B = C

Gentlemen, fasten your seat belts that it laughs loudly. Arianna, you're an asshole! You really are an asshole, here! It makes me die. Fucking lucky. How does a notary to be a comic character?
Because Corinna is the only reason for which we make this drama, no. And she can not be replaced. So it must be like the snorting of a horse. Fufufufuf fucking lucky! You must remedy a pregnancy test right away. Gentlemen, but it doesn't depend on what we say, it depends on how we say it!
I feel that math is missing. I mean... it's like ... like an incorrect equation. I call my agent. I take the double for the comedy. No, the comic line no, please. You make me die when you say fucking lucky.
Note, I don't sign. Note-me, notary I don't sign. Sometimes, people, want to laugh too. I don't know, what can I do? Can I fart? If A plus B is equal to C, C minus B is equal to A. This is the comedy.
If heads, I don't sign. If tails, I sign. She is pregnant, Diego. This slut got pregnant! Well I don't need to take the pregnancy test, I mean, a woman feels certain things inside.

S01E06 - As Lars von Trier

ok, let's accompany our champion from the actors, that the dreams factory has its duties! I joke! I love my fans, come here! What luck you have that I'm heterosexual. If I was a retrosexual it was a completely different story. What party your father is?
Stop. I have an idea. Let them fuck. So, suddenly. Nonsense. Wait a moment. Genius. Genius. Come on, please, shoot this scene of shit with kisses of shit. René, he's a fan. He also made an Internet website about the series, we can not send him away.
- Biascica! | - Hey! | - Your enthusiasm moves us all, do you know? I want conflict, action, accidents, deaths! In my opinion the scenes of passion are the most boring ever. I knew it, the sex scenes are a pain in the ass.
I have not stolen anything from you, Antonio, that you had not already lost. The eyes of the heart, is a shit. Leave it that today it's nervous, it's very nervous. Cuttlefish. Pass me the French flag below.
When making a drama for 10 million people, what you see has never been proved. If it were for him we would only shoot scenes of action, of shootings. Oh, it's since I was a child, I watched television, if I saw two kissing, I always hoped the bad guy would come in and kill them both. But look if you want I fill up the theater with promiscuous stories on the set.

S01E07 - When a man feels the end

- Close on her ... worried. | - F5. | - Astonished? | - F4. When brother peoples stop talking, and where there were smiles they raise menacing weapons against each other, then those that we know as the best angels of cohabitation fail, and leave room for the black knights of destruction and mourning. Here I am at my ease. Because they ask you to work little and badly and pay you well. I would be worried if I feared they want to kick me off, while instead I know they want to kick me off.
I understand René that stars certain rigmaroles about its limoncello. But it's not possible that we are always all astonished. All. There is nothing more divine than fucking the cousin. But, it's good! Well, it's not bitter at all.
- You speak Italian very well. | - What... | - How much are you in Italy? - Come here! Write me an emotional for Ana. | - What? | - Four lines of reflection as you want about what you want. He is looking at you with his face. That his fucking face. But look Arianna, a man knows when the end is coming. Some go to meditate in front of the sea, others find comfort in family, I make the limoncello.

S01E08 - Merry Christmas

He's astonished, she's astonished. Fixed camera, light a bit opened and come on everybody that we do it. Merry Christmas, happy new year and best wishes to your sister too! And go fuck krauts of shit! Two to zero in your home, Grosso-Del Piero. Poo popopo popopo. Poo popopo popopo. - Make me a decent light and give it to you. | - I prepare it and you tell me if it's okay.
I don't take drugs for 11 years! I am against drugs. I don't even think about that. I don't betray the poetics of René. - Dad, I'm an artist! | - I am also an artist. Qui invece sono i 2 La Rochelle nel 79. Io dico sempre: ma chi è il figlio d'arte? Chi è il padre d'arte?
What the fuck! But you are a dog actor without appeal! Too bad! Is that this little thing remained in my pocket. And open all the light, don't make the dark! Sometimes, are more the bars we have inside us, which divide us.
Listen, I give you the availability at Christmas, New Year, when you want.

S01E09 - A matter of principle

René, I had 1,600 euros in the jacket and there are no more! I hope that be a lesson to all! It's a matter of principle. He is a cuttlefish. Young immature. Nice person. I don't know, help me, because I feel a little disoriented.
- Huh, Corinna? | - Yes. | - You don't have to piss me off! Why we don't have to pay under the table half of the episodes? Did you understand who is coming to visit? That unpleasant actress, the one who sent a lot of negative energies! But if you stop dealing drugs now, tomorrow, you may regret it.
You know it's a lot of time I wanted to apologize to you for last year because I called you slut but I did not want to. Ok, you go, you're clean. I have the light of last year, of this year, of next year, in two years, all here, in my head! - No, do you want to improvise? | - Huh? | - No because it's a perfect match.
I notice that there is always a nice mood on this set.

S01E10 - The jeweler

Let's take the positive side of the situation. At least we have a free morning after a long time, eh? Do you also think that what we are doing is a shit? Then I go to the bank to deposit the weekly, then I pick up the scooter, I pay the bills, then I eat, I sleep, I see the repeat of the finishing training on Roma Channel, what do you want more, is an unexpected loophole today. Giorgio. | It has been the jeveler. | The jeveler.
It has been the goldsmith. The goldsmith. Rather go to these four idiots journalists and make them fall in love as only you can do! Is it a joke? Huh no, because I never understand the jokes. But there's another thing that I want to tell you, which I believe that is the real great merit of this drama: it's that there are no Tuscans.
No, why a lot of scenes to shoot! Today there's the press conference, huh! If at the press conference it's not full of journalists, at the end of this day I don't want to see you anymore. But no! This slut fuck up my all day! Lucky you. I have to stay. | The press office says it cares. | This asshole!

S01E11 - Exit strategy

Auditel breaks the ass to us. Find an exit strategy for yourself. And what the fuck! And what the fuck! And then your humor, today, I can tell you, is very Italian. Because today I here, in front of you, all, I meet the dark side of myself.
I want to give thanks to the divine | labyrinth of causes and effects | for the diversity of beings | that form this singular universe. | For love, which lets us see others | As God sees them. | For night, its darkness and its astronomy. | For the bravery and happiness of others. | For music, that mysterious form of time. Oh, it seems immoral to me with people starving to throw 60,000 euros away. Ah, do not you bill? Old school, opportunist! When you fell from the sky, did you hurt yourself? Hi babe, I do it for you today.
It seems that is going to make an experiment. What do I do, René? Do I open all the light here on the table? You don't open all the light just a shit. This is serious stuff, you know, I care!

S01E12 - A particular day

Drink Itala, drink. There's no problem, I'm glad if you drink, eh. - The recommendation is needed. | - Also to be a bodyguard. | - Also to be a bodyguard. Everywhere far from here inebriate yourself with wine, music and poetry. Since you of music and poetry... come on with the wine, Itala! Tomorrow René returns. And I make you an ass like that. Get ready.
And so, open all the light. Let me see how you open all the light. - Excuse me, where is the bar? | - At the bottom on the left. | - Thank you. The secret of my work is let to do, let always to do, since 8 out of 10 the things resolve themselves. Jesus washed the feet of his disciples. I give white truffle to mine.
You must not allow yourself to do that. Goodness, Ada. But... but you are really a bitch just made and finished. Pacta servanda sunt. Alberto, huh! I can not believe it, you graduated. Why do you do that face? Tartar problems.
Damn how is serious this girl. We open all the light, we open all the light, the important thing is that you see. Huh! All! All the case! Also the seafood. An advice. You're always too ready. You have to be more loose, softer on the set, understood?

S01E13 - Stanis must not die

Stanis, when you want, you know that I am, I really like black. Sometimes ... life sends you some signals and we have to be good at picking them up. Fucking lucky. Fucking lucky. Let's try to close this adventure with dignity. Without yells, shouts, huh, with civilization I recommend.
Grandfather Alberto has committed suicide in prison. For remorse. He's gone. With dignity. Bye Grandfather. I have lost the light. I have lost hope. And now everything will be different. But I have to start again from myself. From what I really am. Look what yours Itala gives you. The lardo di Colonnata! Listen, piece of shit, I come from Fiano Romano, got it?
- You are telling me that we are doing all this for... for... | - For the Greeks! - That is, these separatists want to separate from a country that is already minuscule of its own? | - People are never satisfied. - And so those who blow up everything, are rioters. Not Islamic. | - Separatists. | - Exact! | - Laic separatists. | - Of Burmini. | - Exact! I want more flames. Many more flames! I want the delirium!

S01E14 - The last episode

We have done 11 million spectators last night. We are first. WE ARE FIRST!! What rubbish! So I tell you something that... that is exactly right the one that says you're just a bitch. I wanted to make an ugly photography but not so ugly.
Augusto we both know so. The stories end together with the series. FREE ALL! EVERYBODY AT HOME! SEE YOU ON MONDAY! HUHHHH! No one is more astonished, no one is surprised. Each of you has understood everything. Well listen Biascica, today we just work to the bitter end. So I recommend you don't talk to me about labor unions...
My goodness guys I apologize to all of you really but this drama is really terrible. Open all the light, relaxed. How you do, you do well. Be careful boy, you're going to the dark side of the force, huh. Listen René, I for the scene of the party, I open all the light, I open all the spotlights.
Because I want to tell you Arianna that I did not express myself better with this character. And do you know why? Because you put me in a hurry.

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